steel

'To do for yourself the best that you have it in you to do - to grit your teeth and clench your fists in order to survive the world at its harshest and worst - is, by the very act, to be unable to let something be done for you and in you that is more wonderful still. The trouble with steeling yourself against the harshness of reality is that the same steel that secures your life against being destroyed secures your life also against being opened up and transformed.'

- 'The Sacred Journey'

Why are the things that could potentially create so much joy in our lives the hardest to do? To be vulnerable is to love and allow yourself to be loved. My fear is that I will be able to love - just not let someone know I love them - or allow them to love me. For they would then have too much power over me. I would lose control of how they treat me - what they could use against me.

My prayer is this:

'To choose to set aside her normal means of survival and just let her heart show up.'

- 'Captivating'

This of course would allow for potentially more pain, but if I surround my heart with thorns - pain may not be able to get through, but neither can love.